S1E2: Beetle Rock, Part II
Original Airdate: September 7, 1996
Episode Synopsis:
When we last left Drew, Jo, and Roland, we were questioning how the existence of God was compatible with the existence of this show. Specifically, we watched as the three heroes were transformed by Flabber into rats. Realizing his mistake, Flabber reverses the transformation and instead turns them into Big Bad Beetleborgs! Jo is transformed into the Red Beetleborg and now possesses a “striker blaster,” Drew is transformed into the Blue Beeleborg with a “stinger blade” and Roland is transformed into the Green Beelteborg with a “hunter claw.” Best I could tell, the only power these weapons gave was to guilt parents into shelling out $19.99 each. Suddenly, the three knockoff monsters - the Frankenstein, Dracula, and skeleton - burst into the room and attack the Beetleborgs, but the kids use their new powers to quickly chase them away. Suddenly, the Beetleborg comic book cover glows again and emits three fireballs, which fly around the room and then out of the house. Looking at the cover, the gang realizes that not only were the Beeleborgs cut out, but the bad guys as well!
The fireballs make their way into town, where they transform into three villains - Typhus, Noxis and Jara. They celebrate their newfound freedom and decide to “do some three dimensional damage” by summoning “Magnavore” fighters, which are some weird jet fighters that fly in and start blowing up the town. About as exciting as it sounds.
Back at the house, the Beetleborgs realize that the bad guys have been released, and a repentant Flabber realizes he “made a boo boo” by not guarding the comic book during the earlier fight with the house monsters. I’m not sure “boo boo” would be the first term to come to mind when describing the release of monsters that have killed hundreds of townspeople, but let’s not argue semantics.
Back in town, the monsters consider doing even more damage but decide to hold off until they rendezvous with their master. Before leaving, however, the monsters decide to do some “sightseeing in town,” which consists of frolicing around scaring the town’s inhabitants. They eventually come across a sign for a monster movie, and enter the packed theater to watch Nosferatu. The monsters, having never eaten before, become obsessed with their neighbor’s popcorn and cause a ruckus until the audience notices them and runs out in a panic. See kids? Those “locate the nearest exist” PSAs aren't so lame after all. The monsters stay behind to continue eating popcorn because nobody does anything in this show. Case in point, we cut back to a short scene of Flabber continuing to mope over his mistake while our heroes look on.
The monsters finally teleport to a cemetery, where a grave opens up to reveal the true villain- Vexor! They all go into the grave and end up in a secret lair. In it, Vexor explains that they have made the transition into the real world, but that they must deal with the Beetleborgs, who “will stop at nothing” to get them back into the comic. Which we’ve clearly established, as we again cut to the mansion where the kids continue to stand around.
Vexor comes up with a plan - return to the mansion and attack the Beetleborgs! To their credit, the monsters request a few more specifics, but Vexor dismisses them because any time we had to establish a coherent plot was wasted when we spent 5 minutes watching monsters eat popcorn in a movie theater. They return and begin to attack, but the kids realize they don’t know how to turn into Beetleborgs! Flabber jumps in and explains that they can transform by whistling three notes, which is also how they gain access to the Forest Temple. Once they all whistle, something called a “Beetle Bonder” appears in their hands and allows them to transform. A fight ensues, and the monsters are promptly defeated. Vexor expresses his frustration but explains that as long as the doorway to the comic book world is open, he can call in more forces to attack.
Later, still at the mansion, the kids lose track of Flabber. They search for him but instead discover a cat, which starts to talk. What. It’s OK - turns out it’s just Flabber, who has transformed into a cat! “A cool cat’s gotta roll,” Flabber explains, and then details a trip to “the lady down the street” who gave him a “nice saucer of milk.”
After what I assume is some off-screen vomiting and calls to their respective agents, the kids tell Flabber how relieved they are that they no longer have to deal with the monsters, but Flabber explains that they won’t truly be safe until they are returned to the comics and that as a result, “you’ll just have to keep being Beetleborgs!” The kids don’t seem to mind at all, but as they leave, they realize that they have residual powers - Drew has the power to use his mind to move objects, Jo has super strength, and Roland has supersonic speed. However, Flabber warns that the kids shouldn’t tell people about their new abilities in order to protect their identities. So a strange older man hangs out with small kids in an abandoned house and tells them not to tell anyone about it. And here I was thinking Nosferatu would be the scariest part of this episode.
Back in town, the kids return to Zoom Comics where they meet Nano, who declares that “my chili is good and ready to eat!” What. Suddenly, Trip and Van drive up in their limo. Jo brags that they lost the bet but Trip lies by claiming that they actually stayed in the house longer and are therefore the real winners. Drew, seeing a bucket of water on a scaffolding overhead, uses his new brain power toviolate OSHA dump the water on the brothers.
Lesson of the Episode:When we last left Drew, Jo, and Roland, we were questioning how the existence of God was compatible with the existence of this show. Specifically, we watched as the three heroes were transformed by Flabber into rats. Realizing his mistake, Flabber reverses the transformation and instead turns them into Big Bad Beetleborgs! Jo is transformed into the Red Beetleborg and now possesses a “striker blaster,” Drew is transformed into the Blue Beeleborg with a “stinger blade” and Roland is transformed into the Green Beelteborg with a “hunter claw.” Best I could tell, the only power these weapons gave was to guilt parents into shelling out $19.99 each. Suddenly, the three knockoff monsters - the Frankenstein, Dracula, and skeleton - burst into the room and attack the Beetleborgs, but the kids use their new powers to quickly chase them away. Suddenly, the Beetleborg comic book cover glows again and emits three fireballs, which fly around the room and then out of the house. Looking at the cover, the gang realizes that not only were the Beeleborgs cut out, but the bad guys as well!
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| Most kids were only in it for the rats anyways. |
Back at the house, the Beetleborgs realize that the bad guys have been released, and a repentant Flabber realizes he “made a boo boo” by not guarding the comic book during the earlier fight with the house monsters. I’m not sure “boo boo” would be the first term to come to mind when describing the release of monsters that have killed hundreds of townspeople, but let’s not argue semantics.
Back in town, the monsters consider doing even more damage but decide to hold off until they rendezvous with their master. Before leaving, however, the monsters decide to do some “sightseeing in town,” which consists of frolicing around scaring the town’s inhabitants. They eventually come across a sign for a monster movie, and enter the packed theater to watch Nosferatu. The monsters, having never eaten before, become obsessed with their neighbor’s popcorn and cause a ruckus until the audience notices them and runs out in a panic. See kids? Those “locate the nearest exist” PSAs aren't so lame after all. The monsters stay behind to continue eating popcorn because nobody does anything in this show. Case in point, we cut back to a short scene of Flabber continuing to mope over his mistake while our heroes look on.
The monsters finally teleport to a cemetery, where a grave opens up to reveal the true villain- Vexor! They all go into the grave and end up in a secret lair. In it, Vexor explains that they have made the transition into the real world, but that they must deal with the Beetleborgs, who “will stop at nothing” to get them back into the comic. Which we’ve clearly established, as we again cut to the mansion where the kids continue to stand around.
Vexor comes up with a plan - return to the mansion and attack the Beetleborgs! To their credit, the monsters request a few more specifics, but Vexor dismisses them because any time we had to establish a coherent plot was wasted when we spent 5 minutes watching monsters eat popcorn in a movie theater. They return and begin to attack, but the kids realize they don’t know how to turn into Beetleborgs! Flabber jumps in and explains that they can transform by whistling three notes, which is also how they gain access to the Forest Temple. Once they all whistle, something called a “Beetle Bonder” appears in their hands and allows them to transform. A fight ensues, and the monsters are promptly defeated. Vexor expresses his frustration but explains that as long as the doorway to the comic book world is open, he can call in more forces to attack.
Later, still at the mansion, the kids lose track of Flabber. They search for him but instead discover a cat, which starts to talk. What. It’s OK - turns out it’s just Flabber, who has transformed into a cat! “A cool cat’s gotta roll,” Flabber explains, and then details a trip to “the lady down the street” who gave him a “nice saucer of milk.”
After what I assume is some off-screen vomiting and calls to their respective agents, the kids tell Flabber how relieved they are that they no longer have to deal with the monsters, but Flabber explains that they won’t truly be safe until they are returned to the comics and that as a result, “you’ll just have to keep being Beetleborgs!” The kids don’t seem to mind at all, but as they leave, they realize that they have residual powers - Drew has the power to use his mind to move objects, Jo has super strength, and Roland has supersonic speed. However, Flabber warns that the kids shouldn’t tell people about their new abilities in order to protect their identities. So a strange older man hangs out with small kids in an abandoned house and tells them not to tell anyone about it. And here I was thinking Nosferatu would be the scariest part of this episode.
Back in town, the kids return to Zoom Comics where they meet Nano, who declares that “my chili is good and ready to eat!” What. Suddenly, Trip and Van drive up in their limo. Jo brags that they lost the bet but Trip lies by claiming that they actually stayed in the house longer and are therefore the real winners. Drew, seeing a bucket of water on a scaffolding overhead, uses his new brain power to
Nothing good ever comes out of hanging out with creepy old men in abandoned houses, except for the occasional power to control things with your mind.
90's Reference of the Episode:
Creepy old men luring children to abandoned houses.
Joke of the Episode:
Trip asks Heather if she’d like to take a “drive to the lake,” to which Heather responds “only if you’ll jump in it!” Before you yell at me, keep in mind that even this selection was a desperation pick.
Overall Review:
It was a pretty interesting jump from TTAFFBH to this show. BBBB is clearly more kid friendly and far more focused on humor than actual fighting or social conflict. However, although the initial contrast was refreshing, it became clear early on that the slapstick would become tiresome, especially when I know the heroes have interesting powers they aren't using. That fear became reality early in this episode. By the end of this 40 minute (!) pilot I even began missing TTAFFBH, with its more adult themes and actual emphasis on plot structure and conflict/resolution. There's obviously still room to grow with 86 episodes remaining and I tend not to judge a series on its pilot, but the early results are not promising. Also, why are there rats on the cover.
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