S1E1: Beetle Rock, Part I
Original Airdate: September 7, 1996
Episode Synopsis:
The series opens, naturally, in a haunted mansion, where two unnamed children scream as they run out the front door. OK, so I guess we’re in Detroit. One drops his cell phone but they decide to leave it as they run into a nearby limo and are driven away. The phone is slowly pulled into the house by a large, monstrous hand with claws.
We then cut to the town of Charterville, where we are introduced to Drew and Jo McCormick who bike through town to the local comic book store, Zoom Comics. Outside, they meet up with Roland Williams, who is chasing the man in black working on a magic trick. They discuss buying the latest issue of their favorite comic book, Big Bad Beetleborgs, until Drew asks if someone named Heather is working that day. Jo and Roland poke fun at Drew for having a crush on her. Suddenly, a motorcycle pulls up, driven by none other than Nano, Roland’s grandmother! All four walk in and Nano is immediately chastised by her son (and Roland’s father), Aaron, for biking through a neighbor’s “prized tomato patch…again!” I double checked and no, Tyler Perry did not write this episode.
Drew approaches Heather, who works at the store, and tries to get her attention. He picks up the nearest reading material in an attempt to be incognito, but ends up picking up a ballet magazine (“Ballet and You”). Not really sure what a ballet magazine was doing in a comic book store, but the gang laughs it off so I guess I will too. Jo tells Drew that he should ask Heather to the dance, but Drew declines. Instead, he wishes that he was “the blue Beetleborg” and commences with a dream sequence in which he imagines saving Heather, dressed as a damsel in distress. He shows up on horseback and defeats the monsters holding her captive, while throwing in quips like “Have a nice trip?” For those keeping score, it took 10 minutes into the pilot to get our first pun. Heather and blue Beetleborg Drew embrace, but he wakes up from day dream.
Meanwhile, two additional kids come into the store- Trip and Van, wealthy brothers who we earlier saw run out of the haunted house! Trip gives a rose to Heather and, when he takes candy from the jar on the counter, assures her that he doesn’t have to pay because his father owns the building. “You have friends in high places,” Trip brags. The brothers then turn their attention to Drew, Jo and Roland, who they mock for buying “infantile” Beetleborgs comics. Things escalate quickly, and illogically, when Trip brags that they “couldn’t last a minute in the Hillhurst Estate.” They explain that they had visited the night before and were willing to do it again, but Heather warns that it is haunted and “too many weird things have gone down there.” Drew decides to impress Heather by challenging Trip and Van to go to the house and see who can last the longest. They all agree to the contest.
All five kids show up at the estate and enter the house, where they decide to split up. Jo and Roland walk up the stairs where they see a painting with doves. When they turn around, real doves fly out of the painting! Joe and Roland, now seeing the painting without any doves in it, chalk it up to the wind, thereby illustrating a lack of basic understanding of the arts, wind, and reality in general.
Eventually, Jo enters a room and finds what she calls “a box of junk.” Suddenly, a mummy pops out and asks “who are you calling junk!” He takes off his wrappings and shows that he is really a skeleton monster! Jo screams and runs away. Honestly, the only thing that would make this episode worse is if Scrappy Doo showed up. Meanwhile, Trip and Van enter a separate room where they decide to play a prank. They pull out monster costumes and begin to wander the house, intending to scare the others. Little do they know that there is a monster…right behind them! This time, they encounter a Frankenstein-like monster, who begins to chase the two while attempting to return their cell phone from earlier in the episode. Whoa, slow down there with the callbacks, Agent Kujan! They then encounter a Dracula monster and are finally chased from the house, thereby losing the contest.
The other kids find a place to hide but a spider crawls up Roland’s leg, causing him to scream. This gives up his position, and Frankenstein soon corners them. However, Drew accidently pulls a lever that opens a secret door behind them. They quickly enter and discover yet another room with a large organ, which Jo thinks is “cool” because who didn’t love pogs, Pokémon, and organs when they were kids? She stumbles onto the organ, which begins to electrify and glow. Suddenly, three spirit women pop out and, after some build up, introduce Flabber, a character that can best be described as a mix of Robin Williams, Jay Leno, and Elvis, though obviously not nearly as compelling as either of the three. He proceeds to do a disjointed standup routine, with intermittent breaks to sing bits of James Browns’ “I Feel Good.” OK, I don’t care what IMDB says, Tyler Perry definitely wrote this episode.
In what will likely be one of the few occasions where I and the kids are on the exact same page, the three get bored and decide to leave. Flabber pleads with them to stay, and introduces himself, saying that “Flabber’s the name, magic and music is my game.” OK, well at least he isn’t selling insurance. He explains that because the kids released him from the organ, they get one wish. Jo suggests the obvious- that Fox not pick up this show. JK! She actually she suggests that they become Beetleborgs. Flabber doesn’t know what those are but looks at the comic to get an idea, and sees a picture of rats on them. No, I don’t know why there are rats on the cover, though after the Spiderman Clone Saga and Superman Blue, I’m willing to believe anything about 90’s comic book storylines. Flabber, rather than turning them into Beetleborgs, turns them into rats as the “To Be Continued…” banner appears on screen.
Lesson of the Episode:The series opens, naturally, in a haunted mansion, where two unnamed children scream as they run out the front door. OK, so I guess we’re in Detroit. One drops his cell phone but they decide to leave it as they run into a nearby limo and are driven away. The phone is slowly pulled into the house by a large, monstrous hand with claws.
We then cut to the town of Charterville, where we are introduced to Drew and Jo McCormick who bike through town to the local comic book store, Zoom Comics. Outside, they meet up with Roland Williams, who is c
Drew approaches Heather, who works at the store, and tries to get her attention. He picks up the nearest reading material in an attempt to be incognito, but ends up picking up a ballet magazine (“Ballet and You”). Not really sure what a ballet magazine was doing in a comic book store, but the gang laughs it off so I guess I will too. Jo tells Drew that he should ask Heather to the dance, but Drew declines. Instead, he wishes that he was “the blue Beetleborg” and commences with a dream sequence in which he imagines saving Heather, dressed as a damsel in distress. He shows up on horseback and defeats the monsters holding her captive, while throwing in quips like “Have a nice trip?” For those keeping score, it took 10 minutes into the pilot to get our first pun. Heather and blue Beetleborg Drew embrace, but he wakes up from day dream.
Meanwhile, two additional kids come into the store- Trip and Van, wealthy brothers who we earlier saw run out of the haunted house! Trip gives a rose to Heather and, when he takes candy from the jar on the counter, assures her that he doesn’t have to pay because his father owns the building. “You have friends in high places,” Trip brags. The brothers then turn their attention to Drew, Jo and Roland, who they mock for buying “infantile” Beetleborgs comics. Things escalate quickly, and illogically, when Trip brags that they “couldn’t last a minute in the Hillhurst Estate.” They explain that they had visited the night before and were willing to do it again, but Heather warns that it is haunted and “too many weird things have gone down there.” Drew decides to impress Heather by challenging Trip and Van to go to the house and see who can last the longest. They all agree to the contest.
All five kids show up at the estate and enter the house, where they decide to split up. Jo and Roland walk up the stairs where they see a painting with doves. When they turn around, real doves fly out of the painting! Joe and Roland, now seeing the painting without any doves in it, chalk it up to the wind, thereby illustrating a lack of basic understanding of the arts, wind, and reality in general.
Eventually, Jo enters a room and finds what she calls “a box of junk.” Suddenly, a mummy pops out and asks “who are you calling junk!” He takes off his wrappings and shows that he is really a skeleton monster! Jo screams and runs away. Honestly, the only thing that would make this episode worse is if Scrappy Doo showed up. Meanwhile, Trip and Van enter a separate room where they decide to play a prank. They pull out monster costumes and begin to wander the house, intending to scare the others. Little do they know that there is a monster…right behind them! This time, they encounter a Frankenstein-like monster, who begins to chase the two while attempting to return their cell phone from earlier in the episode. Whoa, slow down there with the callbacks, Agent Kujan! They then encounter a Dracula monster and are finally chased from the house, thereby losing the contest.
The other kids find a place to hide but a spider crawls up Roland’s leg, causing him to scream. This gives up his position, and Frankenstein soon corners them. However, Drew accidently pulls a lever that opens a secret door behind them. They quickly enter and discover yet another room with a large organ, which Jo thinks is “cool” because who didn’t love pogs, Pokémon, and organs when they were kids? She stumbles onto the organ, which begins to electrify and glow. Suddenly, three spirit women pop out and, after some build up, introduce Flabber, a character that can best be described as a mix of Robin Williams, Jay Leno, and Elvis, though obviously not nearly as compelling as either of the three. He proceeds to do a disjointed standup routine, with intermittent breaks to sing bits of James Browns’ “I Feel Good.” OK, I don’t care what IMDB says, Tyler Perry definitely wrote this episode.
In what will likely be one of the few occasions where I and the kids are on the exact same page, the three get bored and decide to leave. Flabber pleads with them to stay, and introduces himself, saying that “Flabber’s the name, magic and music is my game.” OK, well at least he isn’t selling insurance. He explains that because the kids released him from the organ, they get one wish. Jo suggests the obvious- that Fox not pick up this show. JK! She actually she suggests that they become Beetleborgs. Flabber doesn’t know what those are but looks at the comic to get an idea, and sees a picture of rats on them. No, I don’t know why there are rats on the cover, though after the Spiderman Clone Saga and Superman Blue, I’m willing to believe anything about 90’s comic book storylines. Flabber, rather than turning them into Beetleborgs, turns them into rats as the “To Be Continued…” banner appears on screen.
 |
| A real collector's item. |
If you're gonna watch Fox Kids, you're better off with The Tick.
90's Reference of the Episode:
Drew asks that Trip “not be such a drip.”
Joke of the Episode:
I’d post a few but you’d never want to come back to this blog again.
Overall Review:
Good lord, there are 87 more of these?
No comments:
Post a Comment